Reviving Ophelia Through Belly dancing
Can belly dance offer young women a more positive self image?
by Delilah
Those of us raising adolescent girls in today's society are aware of the cultural crisis affecting young women's personal growth and self identity. The best selling book,Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher PH.D, gives light and testament to this crisis (the book takes its title from the Ophelia of Shakespeare's Hamlet, who is destroyed by her loss of self). Dr Pipher offers parents compassion, strength and strategies for helping revive our young women's lost sense of self. It's frightening. Among American girls there is more depression, eating disorders, addictions, self-mutilations and suicides than ever before!
You don't have to have children to know the stresses and pressures on our identity as women at any age in this culture. There is a bit of Ophelia in us all that needs reviving. What is our self image? When asked, most women will say they need to lose weight D even the skinny ones. We live in a media-saturated society. Advertising messages are aimed at making us feel dissatisfied so we'll buy something to feel better! We are targets for product image, and brand name associations at a very early age. MacDonald's has weaseled its way into the elementary school systems establishing their product identity for life when children come home with coupons for french fries as a reward for good grades. Yes this really happens! What kind of values and behavior does this promote? Powerful images on TV, movies and magazines they throw us into obsessions and insecurities about our looks, age, weight, and label status. Ignored are real values such as nourishing our creative spirits, practicing compassion and care-taking our families, communities, and our earth.
Sex and violence leads the parade on television and movies! Jerry Mander, author of the well known books "In Absence of the Sacred" and "Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television" tells us how and why guns, car chases, sex and competitive sports are so prevalent. Television is basically a boring medium which is "far better suited technically to expressing hate, anger, jealousy, winning, wanting and violence... which can be conveyed solely through broad-based body movements... The subtleties of love and intimacy of relations are simply not as easy to convey..." TV keeps us tuned in by depending on a narrow scope of exaggerated subject stimuli that is riveting when treated with fast action and 1-2 second cuts . Commercial TV's aim is for you not to touch that dial, so you'll buy their advertisers' products. It is the technology of advertising you are watching for free. Thus we have program after program manipulating us with sex and violence, much of it violence against women. We watch TV as a society, and we use the TV as an unchecked babysitter. Commercial TV has many attributes of a drug: it removes you from your bodily awareness, alters your consciousness, yet causes symptoms of anxiety and depression later. We are poisoning ourselves with fear and disease and sabotaging our future by these disturbing imbalances. We feel powerless, but we're not. We have to use our power, and make good choices!
With all this said, I do not mean that the art of adornment/fashion, our human sexuality, or our concerns with weight are to be disregarded because they are abused issues. They are all important aspects of holistic personal growth. But issues of beauty and sexuality need to be addressed in terms of values, creativity, self-expression, and self-respect. Conditions of healing, compassion and health should be viewed in relation to connecting with our environment, each other and ourselves. What works against us is a sense of identity displacement created by the fear, chaos, and confusion brought to us by television and many technologies of the 20th century. The assault on women's bodies and self-image is not new. We have inherited a widespread, centuries-old tradition of manipulating our body shapes and appearance to suit fashion or other cultural requirements. But do we need to perpetuate the destructive aspects of this "tradition"?
Adolescence is a time of discovering who we are and in today's world that is no easy task. According to Dr. Pipher, a clinical psychologist who has treated girls for more than 20 years, "despite the advances of feminism, escalating levels of sexism and violence D from undervalued intelligence to sexual harassment in elementary school D cause girls to stifle their creative spirit and natural impulses which, ultimately, destroys their self esteem." Yes, elementary school sexual harassment is going on, and it's down right scary!
When we are not truly in our bodies, we can't feel things, thus we have no emotional life, and we become numb. We don't know what it is to be hungry or satisfied. The phenomenon of bodily mutilation is a desperate attempt to feel something. When we can't feel our own love for ourselves, how can we believe anyone else would love us, thus suicide becomes a way out of the empty world of non-feeling. The gifts and pleasures sustenance may become a refuge D or worse, an enemy.
The world of eating disorders affects all ages but is rampant among young women these days. They are multi-layered and complex. Anorexia nervosa, the disease of starving oneself, is a progressive disorder. It is a distorted way of having power and control over one's body and protesting the dictates of society's thinness and beauty messages. A girl becomes so skinny she becomes ugly. All she knows is she's winning the battle for some sort of control. Anorexics are usually perfectionist by nature. This disorder is the hardest to treat and has the highest fatality rate.
Bulimia, binging and then forcing oneself to throw up, is an eating disorder that arises from the preoccupations of eating, purging (by vomiting or by use of laxatives), and weight fluctuation. Binging and purging are addictive behaviors; food is the narcotic and the body becomes habituated. Bulimics are often attractive and vivacious, they are the homecoming queens, class presidents, and high achievers that underneath their cheerful smiles harbor this secret disease.
When I asked 17-year-old Bridget Jordan what her favorite aspects of bellydance were. Her answer brought a hopeful sign to these troubled waters. She asserts that bellydance has given her a positive self-image. She is very aware of the tragedies facing her generation. Bridget and her mother Lassie Jordon told me of a report they read of modeling agencies in Europe courting patients of anorexia clinics with modeling contracts! Campaigns have been launched by women's groups in protest of Calvin Kline using model Kate Moss, whom some believe to be anorexic, to sell jeans. As part of an awareness campaign the FatChance Bellydance Troupe in San Francisco sold buttons bearing the slogan, "Goddesses Have Hips" ( proceeds go to the "About Face " campaign against unhealthy imagery of women. Call Carolena for information (415) 647-6035).
Look through the major fashion magazines and we find the images of 13-year-old girls disguised as grown women selling makeup and skin care to the older woman as well as her daughters. These girls often look beat up, angry, drugged and depressed. Is this our esthetic? Is this what we aspire to? Hardly anyone ever smiles! Do these images depict how girls are feeling these days, or are they causing it? Doesn't anyone in the industry have a social consciousness toward women?
When we look in the mirror and compare our own image, we too often forget that this perfect, barely-pubescent-beauty may even be photographically enhanced and touched up! Pounds, blemishes, dental work can be removed. Eyes are whitened, skin tones evened, lips are fattened and inner thighs vanish. Liposuction clinics are full of girls having their inner thighs "done" trying to mimic these photographically enhanced images. If you think liposuction is for you, read the article in Vogue of May '96. They take you step by step through the procedure. Areas that are suctioned won't regenerate fat cells. But be aware that if there is a weight gain after the procedure other areas which don't normally harbor fat will get bigger D the fat has to go somewhere! What a weird picture that creates in my mind. No thank you!
Symbol of nurture and sustenance, breasts nowadays are either too big or too small or the wrong shape. Talking to women who have undergone breast enhancement cured me of any inclination to have it done. Everyone I know has had problems. I knew three women who went to the same doctor. One wanted large breasts, another wanted just a little enhancement. All three got the same size: large! It made me think the doctor either likes big boobs or the saline bags only come in one size. Another friend's implants hardened so she had to have very painful breast message work to break up the scar tissue which formed around the implants. After a year and a half of pain she had them removed, to her great relief! Now she lives with unnecessary scars.The other thing about implants is the risk of reduction in sensation in one's nipples, something I personally would not be willing to trade! Then there is the issue of breast feeding, one of my most cherished motherhood experiences. None of my friends who had breast implants nursed their babies. I don't know if it's even possible though I think the doctors will say it is. I'm afraid most of them will say anything all the way to the bank. They claim to be experts in the newest procedures. But think for a moment. The newest procedures haven't been time-tested; if they are new how much experience can anyone have? YOU, my darling are their prospective experiential testing ground!
October 1998 in Seattle, a young person's radio station, KUBE-FM, backed a promotional scheme by a local physician, Dr. Antonio Mangubat, who ran ads about his contest at a local shopping mall. All you had to do was physically qualify and you could win a set of new boobs! The operation would be shown on the internet! Articles followed in the newspapers at public outrage by women, feminists, parents, and the associated medical profession. A comment by the radio station's program director, Eric Powers, showed a serious lack of regard: "We've done this sort of controversial promotion before and it didn't hurt our ratings, we speak the language of the listener." Can you believe it?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not down on all plastic surgery. How we look does effect how we feel and it can be a lifesaver for the truly disfigured. I just want women, and particularly girls, to think it over carefully and research any procedure before jumping into it. It's important to be aware of the psychological repercussions and side effects. Most important, look at what attitudes are we buying into. Be sure the issue of the crooked nose or small breasts would not be served best by a therapist helping you work on a stronger sense of self-acceptance before seeking the surgeon's scalpel.
Recently a young ballerina, named Heidi Guenther, died of anorexia. National Public Radio did a story and the representatives from the ballet company admitted that to be lean is required. It is simply too difficult to meet the demands of this dance with weight, they claim. The weight that is problematic is women's weight: thighs, breasts, bellies, hips and buttocks. My contention about ballet is that it is a dance of unfeminine and unnatural demands on the human body, yet it is the most respected, idolized and highly funded dance form there is! It does not represent the freedom of the human spirit, but rather bondage and control! Individually and as a society we need to think about this.
Back to Bridget's experience, what does Bellydance have to offer us as women, of any age?
Once those unfamiliar with bellydance get past the myth that it is something women do to tempt and placate men, and get to the truth that this is a beautiful dance art that honors life and the feminine experience (and which has been for centuries and is still supported and enjoyed mostly by women), then a whole world opens up to them. Like with anything, approaches vary. But what bellydance has to offer young women is a chance to be in their bodies physically, emotionally, spiritually, and creatively. These opportunities are diminishing in our society as we spend so much time sitting at computers or in front of TV. Physical Education in the public schools is very diminished compared to when I was in school, and people are working harder and longer hours. We all need to exercise and yet finding the time isn't easy. What bellydance has to offer over the local aerobics class is fantasy, creativity, the sense of play that is so essential to staying young at heart and an energetic workout. Bellydance gives us opportunities to meet physical challenges that give us a sense of achievement, skill and control over our bodies, learning to move our Women's bodies gracefully.
There are many styles of bellydance to enjoy. It opens us up to many different cultural experiences and broadens our sense of the world. We make many new friends. Through the dance we celebrate life in all it's wide diversity. We express ourselves through costuming, music, and movement in unlimited ways. We learn to connect with our physical energies, our environment, to each other and to feel a place in community. The growth of our awareness through the practice and skill developments experienced in this dance directly correlates to the personal growth of our life cycles. Every dancing step of the way teaches us more about who we are. We learn to take risks through performance and witness each other by supportive watching. The sisterhood of bellydance embraces women of all ages, colors, shapes, sizes and personalities. It's a dance that will last a woman her entire lifetime if she wants it to. Each stage of a woman's life brings something unique: the strength and agile beauty of our youth, to the zaftig, sensual nurturance and wealth of experience in midlife, to the wisewoman cultivation of charisma and maturity, and much more.
Personally I've found that bellydance has been such a powerful counseling factor for my own body image issues over the years. The experience of this dance has taught me about so many life issues. I've married and birthed two daughters and kept dancing. I started when I was 18 and I never dreamed I'd still be at it more than 20 years later, and still impassioned about it. The women that were my elders and teachers then, are still dancing strong (see article about Lois Postel). There is a strong sisterhood. The women that are in their 50's, 60's, 70's give me all my strength and courage to keep dancing in the shadow of this society's disempowerment of older women. I'll be doing this dance even in my aluminum walker!
I truly believe that bellydance can be a wonderful experience for the young and older women of today. They will learn more from it than just the moves. More importantly they will learn to accept more diversity in their bodies and the bodies of other women. The standard of beauty will come from real, holistic values and not from the self-serving needs of commercial intent. If you know a young woman D or an older one D who could use this in her life give her this article!
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